


Like Shooting Stars

by EllieL



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fireworks, Memories, Post-RotJ, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 03:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19782676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieL/pseuds/EllieL
Summary: Leia wasn’t actually sure how either of them had managed not to be invited to participate in the victory commemoration activities. But they had escaped commitments for once, and she took a deep breath and slumped closer to him. Han held her a little tighter.





	Like Shooting Stars

**Author's Note:**

> For the July 2019 HanLeia Challenge prompt "fireworks"

It had taken time after the destruction of the second Death Star and the deaths of the Emperor and Vader for the galaxy to find its equilibrium again. Chaos had reigned for months, as planets and systems revolted, reformed, and reconvened a new galactic Republic. There were holdouts, both tyrannical and apathetic, numerous systems and planets so long repressed under the Imperial yoke that they lacked any concept how to freely govern themselves. Power vacuums had created new petty tyrants to be put down or cast out.

Between the two of them, either individually or preferably, together, Han and Leia had played a key role in more than half of the liberations and democratic reformations in the past two years. A moment of celebration seemed more than well-earned. And it was a beautiful night for it, as they stood on their balcony on a balmy evening, the bright blue sky slowly darkening to indigo and the sounds of speeder traffic fading as the population made its way home and to public places to celebrate together. 

There had been too much worry and too little celebration in their lives over the course of their time together; even their wedding had been a hurried affair, planned and carried out between missions and liberations and lacking anything that truly resembled a honeymoon by conventional standards. Though they had managed to assist in both a constitutional convention and a dictatorial resignation in the two weeks following their nuptials. 

So they were delighted to be watching the sunset together, Han’s arm around her shoulders and glasses of sparkling Chandrilian wine in hand, from the balcony of their own home.

“D'you want me to tune the holo channel to the music that’s supposed to go along with this whole thing?” Han whispered in her ear, clearly more interested in pursuing the amorous, silent route rather than the symphonic one.

She shook her head slowly, closing her eyes and enjoying the feel of him next to her. It was so rare she had him all to herself. “I’m glad they’re commemorating the Endor victory, but I don’t need all the festivities. I’m just happy to relax out here with you for an evening with no other obligations.”

Leia wasn’t actually sure how either of them had managed  _ not _ to be invited to participate in the victory commemoration activities. Lando has been invited to light off the first firework of the evening, and Luke was leading a ceremony later for those lost. But they had escaped commitments for once, and she took a deep breath and slumped closer to him. He held her a little tighter, fingers sliding along her waist.

“You good?” His voice was warm and rumbling, so close she could almost feel it instead of hear it. More time like this to come home to, and she would always be good.

“Very. I’m glad we get to relax at home for once. But I’m pleased they’re doing something to mark this, not just Yavin.” That has always been a difficult celebration for her, linked as it was with the loss of Alderaan. She always tried to host an Alderaanian commemoration at that time, rather than participating in the larger Yavin celebration, and it took an emotional toll. Endor had always felt like a clearer victory, a delineation between the Empire and what they’d built.

Han was studying her face as she spoke in the near-darkness, so he saw her reaction when the first firework flared up and exploded. Her body tensed, and he moved just enough that he could lightly wrap both his arms around her from behind. His lips brushed the back of her neck, brushed past her ear.

“I got you.”

As a few more sparkling trails flew through the sky, exploding in red and gold and blue, she trembled then forced herself to exhale slowly, breathing precisely. Behind her, Han mirrored the rhythm of her respiration, his hands soothing up and down her arms.

“You wanna go in? Or turn on the musical thing after all?” he offered quietly.

She caught his hand in hers, squeezed it lightly, then laced her fingers securely with his. Shaking her head, she brought their hands to her lips, kissing his knuckles. For the space of half a dozen more breaths she was silent, only speaking again after a hot pink firework had bloomed and fizzled out.

“We used to have fireworks all the time at home. The celebration of my mother’s coronation, my parents’ anniversary, my life day. I  _ loved _ them. For my life day fireworks, they’d always let me help pick them out. It was one of my favorite duties as a child.” She shook her head again, remembering the holo presentations by the planners, getting to see all the choices in action, the vivid color possibilities. 

He was silent behind her, listening, waiting for her; he was a good listener, when he wanted to be. He always was when she spoke of home, let her say as much or as little as she could bear to share. Fingers tightened on hers a bit, and his free hand rested lightly at her waist, thumb stroking down towards her hip.

“My favorites were always the ones that looked like shooting stars. You know, the ones that go up in a sparkly trail, then fade out a bit before exploding in a starburst?”

A soft hum answered her, warm lips on the suddenly cool skin behind her ear. 

She took a few more deep breaths, and he remained quiet, arms still light around her, keeping her grounded, safe. With each breath, she could feel them a little tighter, a bit safer. She leaned back subtly against him, and he gave her an encouraging squeeze as a bright green starburst emerged in the sky, followed by pink and blue, streaking the night sky with color.

Then a bright white and gold firework flared in the middle of all of them, a brilliant burst with beautiful gold trailers twinkling down toward the horizon. Gasping, her body shuddered uncontrollably, Han’s strong arms the only things keeping her upright. As she steadied, he lifted her just enough to back them a few steps and pulled her down into one of the chaise loungers with him.

They sat quietly for a long while, his arms around her and her forehead against his collarbone. Occasionally, she felt his lips brush the crown of her head, but he remained quiet.

“That,” she said eventually, tilting her head towards the fading gold sparks, “that’s what--when they made me watch--”

She hadn’t told anyone; no one had ever asked for graphic details of just what she’d witnessed that day. Of course, there had been debriefings, and a few therapy sessions, and shaky whisperings to Han when nightmares of it woke her. She’d told him more than anyone else, about the terrifying weight of Vader’s gloved hand on her shoulder, the sickening smile on Tarkin’s face, the hum of the whole space station around her as the laser fired. But she’d never talked about what it had  _ looked _ like as her home had shattered in front of her.

“That’s what it looked like when Alderaan exploded.” 

“Oh, sweetheart….”

He pulled her into his lap and stroked her back, as she leaned against his chest and tried to steady her breathing, keep herself from shattering. Oddly, she thought, she wasn’t crying; surely this was the time one would expect to turn into a weeping mess. Maybe she was still too shocked at how deeply this bothered her, something she never would have expected. She’d been telling the truth about how much she’d enjoyed fireworks at home, and she wanted to enjoy them now, wanted to enjoy this celebration of all they’d fought for and won.

Twisting in his embrace, she turned to face the sky again, watching another arcing firework flare into an explosion of red and gold. Nearby, another burst into an array of blues. She shivered, despite the warmth of the night, and of Han’s embrace.

“I used to think they were so pretty. I used to look forward to them.”

The reflected sparkles of the next barrage of fireworks flickered in his eyes as he gazed skywards. His furrowed brow formed a deep shadow as he crafted his response. Eventually, he turned back to her and have her a somewhat insincere but lopsided grin.

“Well maybe if you tell ‘em you have experience with picking these out, they’ll put you on the committee for next year. Then you can avoid all the ones that look like—that.”

It was enough to make her huff out a tense laugh and shake her hanging head. Behind her, he shifted, hands drifting up to her shoulders and beginning to knead the tight muscles there. Closing her eyes, she leaned back into his ministrations. 

When the whistle of the next volley of fireworks broke the quiet, she kept her eyes closed, and her senses focused to the feel of his hands on her back, solid and grounding.

“There were fireworks on Endor, after. It didn’t bother me then. I don’t know why it does now.”

His hands found a tight knot at the spot where her neck met her shoulder, and he worked it for a moment before answering. “I think you were a little distracted with other things that evening.”

She hummed as her muscles relaxed under his hands. “Distractions like this you mean.”

“This came later, if I remember correctly. There was some celebrating, and some crying, first.”

“So we’re right on track then.” She’d meant it as a joke, but it came out bitter, almost waspish. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—“

“‘S’okay.” He squeezed her shoulders lightly, lips grazing the back of her neck, tickling loose tendrils of hair. 

“It hits me at the oddest times. Things that remind me of home, even negative things, now. It never bothered me during the war.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t  _ have _ anything during the war, so nothing was gonna remind you of home.”

“You brought me things from home.”

“But you were always too mad at me to get upset.” He poked her gently between the ribs.

At that she did laugh a little, bitterness fading slightly in light of everything he’d been to her, for so long. “Being mad was safe, then, the only way it felt safe to be. Now that I feel safe most of the time, I can let myself think about home. About what happened.”

His hands were still but warm on her back, just above the band of her bra, and she leaned back into them. He was like that, now, quiet and supportive, and she realized maybe he’d always tried to be, in his own way. She remembered his small offerings from Alderaan, candies, and bottles of wine, and a book for children that had almost made her weep, back on Hoth. 

After a few moments, his hands slid down to her waist and pulled her back with him as he settled fully back into the chaise. His long legs framed hers, and her head rested back against his broad chest as he gave her a squeeze, arms wrapping her tenderly up with him. She closed her eyes and reveled in the feel of it, hardly noticing as a few more fireworks blossomed in the sky.

Eventually, she broke the comfortable silence. “Do you like fireworks, Han?” 

“I’m a guy. Anything exploding is always cool in—“ he cut himself off, dropped his head to kiss her shoulder before kissing just below her ear. “Sorry.”

She crooked an arm up and back to catch his head, leaning into his kisses along her temple. “I know what you meant. And I  _ know _ you like explosions. I remember that party back on...was it Shiro? When you and a couple of the Rogues rigged up that...“ she gestured vaguely towards the fading chartreuse sparkles in the sky.

“Hey now, I only supplied the parts! Wedge and Luke were the ones who got distracted hooking up the power couplings.”

Laughing, she shook her head, then twisted a bit to just capture his lips with hers, once, twice. The arms holding her tightened, pulling her firmly back against him again. 

From other balconies, the distant strains of symphonic music filled the silence between the whistle of the fireworks. Then there was a cacophony of distant concussions and shrieks, and the sky lit up in as a sparkling rainbow streaked across the heavens, followed by a staggered series of explosions, in every color imaginable. The stars were eclipsed by the brilliance of the display covering the night sky in front of them. 

It was like nothing she’d seen before, nothing at all like her memory of the life-altering explosion that had left her trembling only minutes earlier. Leia blinked, softened her vision, and let it all soak in--the sparkling sky, the faint orchestral strains, the warmth of Han’s embrace. The shadow of trauma had receded, and she could remember why she wanted to enjoy fireworks, what they had to celebrate.

“Maybe with enough time like this, I’ll enjoy them again.”

“I hope so,” he said, just audible over everything else around them, warm in her ear. “I’ll enjoy spending as much time like this as you want.”

“The fireworks are only twice a year, though.” She managed to sound almost regretful; being here like this was enjoyable, and she wanted more time together. 

The climax of the firework display had passed and was fading from the sky, a few straggling trails of sparkles fading out as the stars became visible again. Musical strains from elsewhere were fading too, as people closed doors and went back inside, their evening fun over.

“We can stay out here as long as you want. Watch the stars, have some more wine. Which I should have--” he reached out futilely, unable to reach the abandoned glasses by the railing.

She turned her head and gave him a wink. “I think I can help with that.” Now that she was calmer, she felt almost confident reaching out, trusting herself and the world around her again. It still felt new and novel to reach out this way, to allow the Force to move through her, until she could visualize herself picking up the wineglasses and bringing them back. 

Beside her, she could feel Han’s smile, as he reached out and took both the floating glasses before handing one back to her. “Pretty impressive.”

“I’ve been practicing while you were away.” Smiling, she took a sip of the wine.

“This the kinda practice Luke had you doing? I’ve never seen him use his skills for anything this practical.”

With a laugh, she shook her head. “He had me practicing with rocks and a grav ball. This seemed like a more useful challenge. And I can tell him I’ve been practicing now.”

He took a drink of the wine, a smile playing in his eyes. “Any other skills you wanna practice?”

“Mmm.” She hummed against the edge of her glass, then took another sip. After the surge of nervous adrenaline earlier, she was now feeling languid. Behind her, around her, he felt relaxed, too. “We could both use more practice at this. Just relaxing together.”

Twisting his wrist, Han clinked their nearly-empty glasses together. “A belated toast to that.”

They finished their respective glasses, then he gave her a little wink and tilted his head toward the rest of the bottle. It took even less effort to bring the bottle over to them--it was less delicate, and she didn’t have to worry so much about spilling it. She caught it with a grin, but handed it over to him to pour.

“Things seem to be settling down enough that we might get more practice at this now, you know.”

“That some inside information?”

“Mmmhmm.” She drank from the refilled wine glass. “Barring major intergalactic incidents, of course.”

“I’ll do my best not to cause any of those, then.” He kissed her cheek, and gave her a little squeeze. “You wanna go in?”

As she turned her head he caught her earlobe with the graze of his teeth, eyes twinkling in the near darkness.

“I can think of a few other things I’d like to do with our increased time together.” Carefully, she disentangled herself from him and stood, offering her hand to help him up, too.

“Helping me rewire the Falcon’s sensor array after that shot we took at the end of this last mission?” His hands sliding down around her hips, up over the small of her back, indicated other plans, and she let him guide her back towards the apartment knowing there were other fireworks in store for her tonight.

“Something like an array of senses, maybe.” She had to stand on tiptoe to whisper in his ear, but he didn’t really need to hear her; he already knew. They took their time making their way inside, slowed by their unhurried kisses.

*

  
  



End file.
